Role Models

There are a rare few people that I can say I really looked up to as a child.  Besides my mother, I can hardly think of one.  Even treading through a public school in a sleepy suburb, only one person has ever stood out to me as someone I could say I wanted to grow up to be like.  She didn't teach any grade in particular at the time; instead she worked with the kids in an accelerated learning program.  I wasn't one of these gifted children (though I was tested for the program.  I didn't even know anyone ever got rejected for it), but I did see her now and again.  When I was in elementary school, I saw the school counselor a few times.  They seemed to think I harbored some kind of animosity towards my mother evidenced by an assignment where I had to draw my house and family.  Honestly, I don't remember doing anything wrong, but I guess I also don't remember how I drew the picture.

I'm getting off-track.  Dr. May occasionally appeared in the office while I waited to be counseled.  I didn't like the therapy.  I remember the man who would talk to me was very off-putting.  It might have been the way he never smiled.  Every time I looked at him, it just seemed like he was unhappy with me, so I would usually sit outside the office, swinging my legs in trepidation.  Eventually, Dr. May began to recognize me.  She asked why I was around the office so often.  She would even joke to the receptionist that I was always getting in trouble.  All I remember is that one day she just started asking me what was on my mind.  I remember it really shocking me.  I mean, for a faculty member to take an interest in me, whom she didn't teach or work with in any sort of way was jarring, in a way.  She spoke to me like I was an adult, and I liked it.

When it came time to stop seeing the therapist, I must have been around eleven years old.  By this time I didn't even go to the office to see him, I wanted to see Dr. May to tell her about my day.  Even though my issues were "resolved," I would go straight to her room after school to help her straighten her office.  I felt comfortable around her enough to tell her all kinds of stuff about myself I'm not sure I even would mention to a friend.  She's retired now, but I still keep in contact with her, though not as much as I really  feel I should be.  I always felt so ungrateful, because of how much she really did for me.  If she hadn't been around, how much longer would I have been in therapy, or how would I have turned out?

I hope there are still people like her for kids nowadays.

-Kat