Oh, and I'm in the computer lab here, and I just pulled out the little shelf the keyboard is supposed to sit on.  Fucking 20 Mamba wrappers strewn about.

YOU PEOPLE ARE PIGS.

Dear Sculpture Class,

I hate you.  That's right.  I. Hate. You.

Hate is a strong word.  Usually people use hate when they want to show the deepest levels of animosity.  There should be a perfectly good reason to hate someone, otherwise dislike is probably the word you're going for. 

But that's really for a person, every factor of this class pisses me off.  I hate sculpting models.  I'm struggling as it is to do it, but I also have no interest in doing it correctly anymore.  It's fucking boring sitting there trying to make this old guy's spine look as perfectly malformed as it is.  I also don't feel like I'm learning anything.  I mean, there's always that resistance when you don't like doing something that you don't learn anything from it.  But even when I do enjoy it for a moment, I feel like I am making no progress whatsoever.  I know it comes down to practice, but is 4 months of a class really practice enough for me to be anywhere near proficient at doing this?  No.  It isn't.  Not for me, anyway.  I don't want to do this class anymore, but I only have one more month, so I really might as well stick it out.

Being in that class makes me a silent pit of rage.  I just sit there hitting and pinching and cutting the clay until it's time to go.  That sweet release when class is over is the greatest indicator that I hate that class.  The fact that I don't dread work at 3AM, but I do dread that class at 1 the same day.  Usually I get a break; we do different projects on Wednesdays, but we're kinda in between, so now we're just doing the model every class.  It's driving me fucking bonkers.

Oh, I didn't publish this yet?  I must have gotten really distracted.  I haven't been like this about a class since like, high school social studies.

From 0 to 60. Or was it 22 to 60?

Let me tell you a story about a fool:

He had been a well behaved student for his entire life.  He studied and goofed off as many kids do, all in moderation.  He grew up with his faith in the education he was receiving, that it would better him and enlighten him to the world surrounding.  The studious, intelligent, perhaps a bit introverted child grew into a young man as quickly as spring descends upon the dying winter.  He attended more classes and learned more than he thought.  He developed and changed as we are expected to do as children.  While he sat in his classes day in and day out, he found himself wanting something he couldn't say, draw or write.  He had lived a mostly happy life, so he wouldn't have known what it was he could ever want.  He looked everywhere to find that what he was looking for; professors, friends, family, even lovers couldn't point him in the direction of his desires.  It depressed him, but only when he thought about it.  There was plenty to do to distract him from his question.  He had work to do, and work made him happy because it distracted him from this nagging feeling.  Every now and then, this looming presence would take form before his eyes.

It enraged the fool.  No matter what he did, whenever this feeling was over him, he could not find what he was looking for.  How could he not have learned this by now, why is there something he had been missing?  Had all his knowledge to survive in this world forgotten to preserve him?  What good is knowing the bones of the human foot if he couldn't do something that made this damned feeling leave him.

Finally, it became clear to him. It was an uncomfortable truth:  What you really need in life cannot be taught by any being, living or dead.

So, the Fool left his pressures behind him.  Though he continued his studies, he let a new goal take priority.  He desired to find that which was missing from inside of him.  That which unites him with the world, and not just the material earth, but all things included therein.  He left with only that which he could carry, and happily walked towards a fate no one could assure him would end well.

Each day at work-

Feels like I get a Herculean task, and it's always the one where I have to clean the stables.  Instead of shit, it's shitty merchandise.  I had to clean out our trailer full of clearance items.  I found out that the items are not the reason I am clearing all of this antiquated craft supply though.  We need the shelf structures they were on to ship back as well as the actual shelves themselves for storage.  I was relieved, anyway, because I was certain none of this stuff was ever going to sell, even for free.  The room I have to move all of this stuff is up a narrow flight of stairs, and each box of merchandise is about 20-30 pounds if I wasn't an idiot about putting too much in.  Back and forth for an entire truck trailer (which certainly does smell like a stable) all day.  This contributes to my theory of the boxes and fixtures merchandise is on being the solid gold that I am panning through all these silly brushes and wooden boxes to get to.

This job still beats Quizno's EVERY day.

Philadelphia, but no class?

I had a field trip today for both of my art classes!  I saw the Muetter museum for the first time today.  And...and...it was really upsetting, but interesting at the same time.  It's so frightening all the horrible things that can happen at once to your body.  It's no wonder such horrible monsters can be created by the minds of artists. 

I also went to UPenn for an artist doing a lecture series.  I have apparently been to the cafe there before when I was a kid.  Apparently they have a freakin bar after 4 PM, so being of age, I ordered a Bloody Mary.  I had always wanted to try one since finding out about it, since it's basically what happens when you and your friends are bored at a diner in middle school, and you just start putting salt packets and ketchup in an empty drink glass.  Honestly, I'd have liked it better without the vodka (I know it's just tomato juice then.)

I got to talk to a well established artist today, though she only half answered my question, it was still very interesting, and she was very approachable!

Spring Break: 2

I spent this week doing next to nothing.  I spend every other week doing as much as I can as fast as I can.   Can I not enjoy this? 

I haven't given blood in awhile.  It's really weird, because usually I get calls from the Red Cross like, every month or so.  Sometimes I like to get harassed by them just to know that my blood is still worth taking.

Spring Break: 1

I went to work today, so it wasn't really a day off.  Sometimes, I forget I work at an arts and crafts store, because I'm more concerned with what to do with the cardboard boxes.  I'd swear I work in a cardboard mine if I just had to shuffle boxes around a messy stock room.

I've been pretty sick the past few days.  I dunno if I caught another cold or something, but I feel that I've taken a turn for the worse.  It could just be because I got a total of 40 minutes of sleep last night, but either way, the sniffles have been haunting me for 2 weeks now.  I'm pretty tired of breathing out of my mouth all the time!

I think the world will end in fire or black holes

So, stars have two ends:

1. They constantly expand, engulfing anything nearby until they simply spread into gas

or

2. The force of gravity increases faster than the star can expand, which causes it to condense into a super dense point that eats light (and anything else around it).  A black hole.

This is our universe, there are billions of these objects floating around through space.  When they finish their life cycle, a catastrophe occurs to anything around it.  As for earth, I created a diagram: